Finding My Way Back to "Me" Through Flawed Soap Batches and Dog Cuddles

This week was full of appointments.

I saw my general surgeon, who was pleased with how I’m recovering. I also saw my physical therapist, who gave me a bleach-smelling substance to help with the wounds and get rid of the stuff they call “slough.” Apparently, that’s a real medical term, although it sounds like something I should be scraping off the bottom of a boat.

I saw my plastics PA again, and she removed the last drain. And honestly, it wasn’t a minute too soon because my tissue had started growing around it. Let’s just say I was very ready for that thing to come out!

All in all, though, it was a pretty calm week considering I had appointments every day.

And then there was Friday.

We met my BFF, Linda, for pizza, and it was really nice to spend some time with her. We’re also starting to get ready for the Day of the Dead celebration, which is on Halloween this year.

I really can’t say that enough: hopefully people will come out and see us while we’re there!

Saturday brought another good day.

We went to Blanche’s and had lunch with her and her mom—another Linda. Blanche made something like a stuffed tater tot, and she even made one with Spicy Cheetos.

It was DELICIOUS.

She even sent leftovers home to Aaron.

Linda also made me some buckwheat pancakes. I haven’t had buckwheat pancakes since probably the mid-to-late 1990s, so I was so dang excited about them.

They gave me quite a few other goodies, too. So many, in fact, that I really can’t thank the two of them enough. I am so thankful that they are a part of my life.

After that, we stopped and saw Linda again for a few minutes because I needed to drop off some antibiotic cream for her.

Then we headed home for a quiet night of YouTube, Mosey-Bob and Sasha cuddles, and fighting Tinsel for the blanket.

Although, I’ve decided that what Tinsel calls cuddles and what I call cuddles are two very different things.

She climbs under the covers, pulls them with her head, and then lays right next to my legs. This leaves me with just enough blanket to realize that I absolutely do not have enough covers.

Then, instinctively, I get cold.

And that’s when the struggle begins.

Apparently, Tinsel’s version of cuddling is: “I get the blanket, you figure it out.”

Sunday: Back to Making Soap

Today is Sunday, and I started making fall soaps.

Of course, my cousin Katherine, who lives with us along with her dad, always wants to help.

During my conversation with Blanche’s mom, Linda, she asked about my soaps and lotions and things I make. She mentioned that she loves everything Tea Tree, so I decided to make her a heavy cream Tea Tree and Lavender soap.

Boy, has it been a minute since I’ve made soap.

The last few batches I made got me enough soap that I didn’t have to make any for almost a year.

A YEAR.

So, yeah... the struggle was real when it came time to get back into the soap-making role.

And having Katherine there to help—or, more accurately, distract me—didn’t exactly make things easier. I found myself getting frustrated because I was trying to make soap while also trying to teach her what I was doing.

But I thought everything was going pretty well.

I have this tall, skinny mold, and I decided I would try it for this batch. It was a 70-ounce batch. When I poured it into the mold, it was still pretty liquid, but that isn’t always uncommon.

So I covered it, set an alarm for 30 minutes, and went back out to check on it.

And...

Nope.

The oils and butters were still liquid and floating on top, while the creamy parts had settled on the bottom.

It did not work.

I did something wrong.

I would really like to blame it on having Katherine there to distract me.

But the reality is, distracted or not, I made a mistake.

And there was another little problem.

I forgot that you don’t put dairy directly into lye.

So I had to start that part over, too.

That means a whole lot of heavy cream—and about 45 ounces of oils and butters—are headed for the trash once everything cools down.

Forty-five ounces.

Gone.

Tomorrow, though, there will be no Katherine, no distractions, and hopefully a much calmer mind.

I’ll start again.

And, just to be clear, I’m not blaming Katherine. I’ve simply discovered that maybe I’m not as good at teaching as I thought I was!

Getting Back to the Alluring Tranquility Vlog

Another thing I’m starting to ease back into is the Alluring Tranquility Vlog.

It feels a little strange—and honestly, a little exciting—to start recording again.

For months, so much of my attention has been focused on cancer, appointments, surgeries, drains, healing, and trying to figure out what comes next. The Alluring Tranquility side of my life has still been there, but it definitely had to take a back seat for a while.

Now I’m starting to feel like I can slowly pick some of those things back up.

So, I’m going to start recording the vlog again.

I’m not promising that everything will suddenly go back to the way it was before cancer entered the picture. I’m still healing, and there are still plenty of unknowns ahead of me.

But I think there is something really good about getting back to doing some of the things that make me feel like me.

Making soap.

Talking about the things I love.

Working on Alluring Tranquility.

Recording videos.

Creating things.

And just being Faith instead of being a patient all the time.

I think I need that.

Maybe getting back into the vlog is another little piece of finding my way back to myself.

And honestly, if my first few recordings are a little rusty, well... you’ve been warned!

Looking Ahead

Next week, I only have my family practice doctor to see, so there’s nothing particularly exciting on the appointment calendar.

I have also tentatively been given the okay to return to work on October 12, 2026.

That’s something to look forward to.

Although, I don’t know if that date will actually stick.

There has been some discussion about whether I should return to work while I’m going through chemotherapy because I don’t heal particularly well. And since my job involves driving kids, I absolutely do not want to take any chances.

There are still a lot of unknowns.

For now, though, I’m taking the week as it came.

Appointments.

Healing.

Friends.

Family.

Good food.

A little soap-making failure.

Getting back behind the camera.

A lot of cuddles—at least according to the dogs.

And another week behind me on The Journey I Never Asked For.

One week at a time.

That’s all I can really do.

Until next time... keep finding joy in the ordinary, hope in the hard days, and strength you didn't know you had.

Thanks for walking this journey with me.